Man From Snowy River?? Nah.... Banjo Paterson, eat your heart out!!

THERE was panic at the doctors, for the word had passed around
That the pancreas of Kit had passed away,
She had joined the type 1 D ranks — in 3 days she lost 19 pounds,
So all the doctors gathered round that day.
All the tried and noted prayers from the churches near and far
Had gathered at the homestead overnight,
For they knew she loved her sugar and her soda and her cake,
And the carbs she would devour with delight.

There was the Peadiatrician, who made his pile when private practise began,
The old man with dollar signs in his eye;
But few could pay his charges when to him they were referred—
He would charge them through the nose and make them cry .
And the public healthcare system came in to lend a hand,
No cheaper system ever held the reign;
For everyone had access and could pay their meager fees,
The bills that they sent would not cause you pain.

And one was there, a dr with a massive, clever brain,
He was something like a genius undersized,
With a touch of classic Aussie—three parts thoroughbred at least—
His bogan-isms even shocked his wife.
He was thick and short and arrogant—just the sort you wish would leave—
You read "ego" in his quick impatient tread;
And he bore the badge of "asshole" on his hairy barrel chest,
And the proud and lofty carriage of his head.

But still so rude and grumpy, one would doubt his bedside manner,
And the nurses said, “That doctor just won't do
For a young and friendly girl like this—he'd better step away,
Make one wrong move and her parents might sue.”
So he waited, ego deflated—yes, it seemed he had no friends —
“I think they ought to let me try,” he said;
“I might be rude and grumpy but I know what I can do,
I've all the knowledge right here in my head.

“i trained at Melbourne uni, in the medical faculty
Where the tests are twice as hard and twice as tough,
Where a man with lesser brain cells would falter in his stride,
And near enough is never good enough.
And the people that I trained with all look at me with awe,
They know I worked to get where I am now;
I have seen full many patients since I first commenced to treat,
And never yet one patient have I lost.”

So he went — He found the IV by the big pile of syringes —
He raced towards his patient like a champ,
And the old man gave his orders, ‘Nurse, I need some fluids now,
And someone please pass me an IV clamp.
And, Parents, you must trust me, try and trust my expertise.
Pray hard and you will see she will be fine,
For never yet was patient that could beat me at my treatment,
I promise not to let your angel die.’