I was asleep for a short time, but lately, sleep doesn't seem to last. Tonight I was woken by a phone call, but I don't mind, it was one of my dearest friends. I love to talk to him, and he knows it. Tonight, our call wasn't fun.
Why, when my mind should be 100% on someone or something else, does it cross to B?? Why do I have to be so deeply in love with him, when he has made it clear that he no longer feels that way for me? My heart aches.
I hate that when my heart aches, my liver decides to be sympathetic and work overtime. Does it not understand that high bgs make me MORE emotional, not less so??? It seems to be one of those nights where insulin is rendered incapable. Is there any point injecting when I simply keep going up, not coming down? Sometimes I wonder. This is one of those times.
I'm not always depressed... my blogs just make it look that way. Those that know me well know my sense of humour and the laughter that normally fills any room I am in. I'm known for being a bit of a clown... I guess that those that know me well might be concerned to read this... Those that know me best will be less shocked... they have seen inside my heart before. They have been allowed inside my walls.
At least my spiritual crisis has been dealt with. I was able to feel God last night after some big time prayer. I knew I missed feeling Him, but not how much.. and I have been praying while writing this, and I can feel him now. I know now that he is the voice in my heart that tells me everything will be ok. He is the warmth I feel when the rest of me is cold. He is the only One who knows me better than I know myself, and He is here with me.
He demolished my walls
1 comment:
Gee, you sure deal with crises quickly. Glad to here this one is solved. Is this a natural-born ability of yours?
Anyway, hope you are getting more sleep as the week progresses. Like milk, it does a body good.
Cheers,
J.B.
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